Who Loves Me?™: October 2011

Tuesday 25 October 2011

Open letter to Mini Munchkin

To my dearest little Mini Munchkin,

HAPPY 1^st BIRTHDAY!

I’m just writing this the night before your first birthday while Daddy is trying to make your little ride on fire engine that Big Munchkin has got you for your birthday. It looks fantastic, I hope you love it!

I can’t believe you’re a year old – it feels like yesterday that you were born and yet I can’t remember a time without you. I’ve said the same thing to Big Munchkin, but its true – I was absolutely born to be your mummy!

You were due at the end of September but I was half expecting you to arrive early – Big Munchkin was 10 days early – and strangely we were due at a wedding in West Hampstead (its an area in London) on the day he arrived and we were going to another wedding in West Hampstead 10 days before your due date so I thought it might be a sign of some sort (which as it happened it was).

Sorry to be blunt, but labour was horribly painful (I needed Pethidine by the end – probably an illegal drug by the time you read this…..), not helped by the fact I’d had no sleep (after said wedding Daddy and I had gone to bed at 1am and I went into labour just 4 short hours later), and it went on from 5am on the Sunday until you were born at 3am on the Monday. But then there you were! This perfect little bundle of you! You were 8lbs 1oz when you born and 57 cm long – obviously every bit perfect. Daddy nearly passed out (he’s never been good with blood and had not slept for nearly 24 hours, but thankfully there was a mattress for him on the floor next to my bed!) but don’t hold that against him J

You were so tiny and pink and beautiful and it was so incredible to cuddle you after 9 months of you living inside me. It was amazing! Daddy left us at 6am to go home and get some sleep, you slept in the cot next to me and I just watched you. We moved down to the ward at about 9am and I think I must have slept for a little bit then until Daddy came back at 11am.

We stayed in hospital the next night because I had Group B Strep and you needed to be monitored for 24 hours, but thankfully you were fine. Daddy, your big brother and Grandma came in to see us and we had lots of lovely quality time on our own too! Big Munchkin loved you from the first moment he saw you and has loved you ever since (much like the rest of us!) and brought you a little card he made with Grandma. You gave him a playmat for his cars, just so you know….

Over the last 12 months you have grown into the most special little boy – you just love life! You have so much energy and have been described as the smiliest baby ever by every person who has ever come into contact with you! I literally have not once left the house without someone commenting on how smiley you are (that and how beautiful and long your eyelashes are…..).

You love to play and giggle and laugh, you think your brother is hilarious (he is quite funny!) and will sit with him at the table and giggle incessantly together. You also always want to join in with whatever he is doing. You have always acted above your age and want to do things that your peers are not yet capable of. You are already walking and saying a few words (your first word was “ready” – it just about sums you up – you never sit still!). If we go the playground, you sit on cars for babies 6 months older than you and want to go down the slide on your own or on a seesaw that even Big Munchkin is intimidated by…. You are quite fearless and so adventurous. You play games that are very advanced for your age – currently you like to pretend to sleep – and giggle like anything when one of us joins in. Your laugh is completely infectious and you are amazing to watch!

Thank you for being my son. I love you with all my heart!

All my love,

Mummy xx

Tuesday 18 October 2011

Why babies love looking at faces

From the moment they’re born babies love to look at faces. Despite not being able to focus properly for the first few weeks of life, studies have shown that babies prefer looking at faces more than any other object. Unsurprisingly they prefer their mummy’s face to anyone else’s, but it has even been proven that they prefer ‘good-looking’ faces to less attractive ones and that they show a preference for happy faces and faces with open eyes. Who says babies aren’t clever?!

"Babies are hardwired to recognize faces, which helps them connect with their caregiver early on" says Michael Frank, a brain and cognitive sciences researcher at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology "They like to look at anything that resembles a face, even something as abstract as an electrical outlet." [1]

Just about anyone who has come into contact with a baby has proved the theory by playing various games with them – think of peekaboo (they stop smiling when you disappear!), pulling faces at them or in the mirror with them (induces hysterical giggles) or waving your hand in front of your face and ‘pulling’ a smile up or a frown down (usually met with wide eyed amazement). They just love to look at your face – it can hold their attention for as long as you want to play the game (or until it’s time for a sleep or a feed, whatever comes first!) – especially if your eyes are really wide open and your smile is equally as big.

This fascination starts from birth. In one experiment researchers showed videos of women’s faces to babies of just 12 - 36 hours old, and the babies had a clear preference for watching their mothers’ faces rather than those of strangers (particularly impressive when you consider that at this age they can really only see an outline with a blurry centre). And the appeal continues as the baby develops – they are able to pay attention to individual facial features at about 6 weeks old, at about 3 months your baby can keep your face in their memory for about 24 hours[2] and they are able to copy facial expressions from about 6 months old.

So, we know they love looking at faces. It has been tested by a lot of scientists (and they’re a clever bunch), and we’ve seen it for ourselves (and we’re pretty smart too). But why?

The main theory is this. Primarily we are social creatures and face recognition is thought to encourage social behaviour in babies and help with development of social skills later on. "Babies are born with a fairly detailed representation of the average human face that helps them recognise familiar faces and also helps them learn about the social world" says Dr Alan Slater, a psychologist at Exeter University.[3]

There are two elements to this. Firstly face recognition means, quite simply and obviously, that we are able to recognise others – invaluable for a baby who is completely dependent on others for its survival, but clearly important throughout life (imagine if you, the adult, forgot everyone the moment they left the room?). Secondly we use faces as a way of communication through both eye contact, which “helps establish a communicative link between two people” [4] and facial expressions. Researchers have even found that infants under 8 months old may rely on visual cues to differentiate between foreign languages![5] It is therefore very important for a child’s development that they have had a lot of practice looking at faces and reading expressions from a young age.

So babies love looking at faces both for social interaction and for developing communication skills for later life. That really does make sense. But I also like the theory that “looking into someone's eyes is a necessity for falling in love” [6]. Maybe they just like looking at faces to show their mummy they love them!