The birth of my third baby

The birth of my third actually happened in between those of my two sons. It was a lot less painful physically, although it did take a lot longer. It was still created by me and my husband, but we also delivered it ourselves. It was, of course, the birth of Who Loves Me?.

When our first son was born, the grandparents (on both sides) would visit frequently, they would never leave it longer than a couple of weeks in between visits. Nevertheless this was long enough apart for our son to completely forget them (apparently babies of three months old can only hold your face in their memory for 24 hours) and, as a shy baby, he wouldn’t want to cuddle them straight away and would often cry if he was taken away from mummy. He would get used to them during the course of the visit and be smiling like a very smiley thing on a particularly smiley day by the time they left, but the next time they came we’d be back to square one – refusing cuddles and looking at them as if they were strangers. Obviously all very upsetting for the grandparents who just wanted a big snuggle with their baby grandson.

[Enter Who Loves Me? stage right]

We made some cards for him – they were exceptionally basic compared to the ones we now make, but the prototype nonetheless – with photos of each of the family on each card and a little typed caption underneath with the name of the person and “loves me” (e.g. “Grandma loves me” or “Granny loves me” or “Uncle Simon loves me” etc) and we would show him the cards in between visits, looking at each card with him and saying the name of the person. The difference was honestly incredible. He would recognise granny / granddad / grandma as soon as they arrived!  They would be treated to a big smile when they walked through the door and he would reach out for cuddles for them. Well, you can imagine how pleased the grandparents were!!

We used our own cards for a while before we began thinking that these would also be really beneficial to other families. After all, not many babies see their grandparents every 24 hours! I took our cards to my NCT friends who had babies the same age and asked them what they thought. Was it a viable concept?  Would they buy a pack? How much would they pay for them? (In recent interviews I’ve done, this has been called my ‘ready-made focus group’ – a professional way of saying I asked my friends what they thought over a pizza!)

I got my friend Lisa, a graphic designer, on board who beautifully brought our vision to life by creating the artwork for the borders of the cards. My dad (an accountant) guided us through the financial administration of setting up a business, our friend Josh (a marketing guru) gave us a marketing workshop over a long dinner and his wife Gemma (a lawyer) helped us with the terms and conditions on our website. Sadly we didn’t know any web designers or trade mark lawyers (we know plenty now!) but we found some and got them all involved too. 

After what felt like forever we finally ‘gave birth’ in June 2010 – when I was heavily pregnant with baby number two. Two births within a few months of each other - now that takes some doing!

                                                    Dom making the first pack of cards!

I’ve never written down this “birth” story previously, so thanks to Tara Cain and The Gallery  for prompting me.

The P word rears its ugly head

The P word. Its Upon us.

Potty training. Oh, that's two words. Poo! Well at least that P word leads me on nicely...

My son is two and a half. He ticks all the boxes for being ready to potty train. He is fascinated by other people going to the toilet (lets hope he loses this fascination in later life!), is increasingly independent (did I mention he’s two and half?), aware when he is doing a poo, wants to help put on and take off his own clothes and has the ability to sit still for more than five minutes. He has ticked all these boxes for ages. Yet still we’d not started potty training.

To be honest, despite the box ticking, I didn’t think either of us were ready. He has shown absolutely no interest in the potty or using the toilet himself, and he has cried when I’ve tried to get him to use either before a bath. He knows when he’s doing a poo, but he lies about it if you ask him because he doesn’t want his nappy changed (he has no problem at all with being in a wet or dirty nappy). So I put it off.

Finally my husband told me I had to do it (sounds harsh, but to be honest I did need telling!!). So we started two days ago and it has actually not been that bad! I have to bribe him every time with a new car (just a very cheap, tiny little toy one – not keys to his own brand new top of the range Mercedes, obviously) which cost me dearly in cars on day one (I actually secretly took some back that evening when he went to bed to use for bribery on the next day – he didn’t notice!) - I’m going to scale it down to a chocolate button or breadstick or something in the next couple of days otherwise I’ll have to remortgage to continue potty training..... although at the moment it is only marginally more expensive than buying nappies and wipes! But the good news is, he knows when he needs a wee (which he still calls “a poo”.... what have I taught him?!) and normally gets to the potty in time. He doesn’t mind if he doesn’t, but he gets super excited about the praise (and the gift of the car) when he does.

So day three today, and he’s gone to nursery in pants and no nappy (and several changes of clothes, just in case). I really hope he’s getting on ok!